Hey, I’m allowed a painful pun, as I am hopped up on the goofballs.
What I mean by that is, I am currently in Johns Hopkins emergency department, waiting for a bed to open up so I can be admitted.
This starts about eight days ago. I started peeing a lot – like 10-15 times an hour – and then the nausea hit. I was getting very little sleep, like 3 or less hours a night. Then my kidneys started to hurt, and I decided it was time to get thee to an ER.
Long story short, they debated admitting me then, due to my history with infections, but decided against it. They gave me a new-to-me antibiotic and antiemetic and turfed me. I mean, I am not a fan of being a patient, but it did muddy the waters some.
I was scheduled to make a work-related trip, 10 hours by car from home. If the docs told me it was no big deal, I could go without worry. If they admitted me, there was little I could do about it. But telling me that the infection *usually* merits a stay, and then setting me free, made things tough. I felt pretty crappy, but this trip was extremely important for both professional and personal reasons. Even so, I was totally looking for some external source to give me permission to cancel. I asked for and received three forms of divination, hoping to be told I could stay home.
In the end, I decided to pray. As the trip was partially in service to two of my most important gods (Loki and Hel), I prayed to them. Send me a sign, a nudge, a way to know what you want. If you want me to go, give me the spoons and energy to get packed and be ready for the trip by the time we need to leave.
The first thing that happened was, I felt an overwhelming urge to shave my head. I had been growing it out for some time and it was actually getting pretty long. But if it were up to Loki, I would be bald all the time. At first, I thought this was him taking advantage of my weakened state, but as the hair started to come off, I realized for the first time how much I felt literally weighed down by my hair. It was stringy and frequently damp from my night sweats. And I wasn’t particularly happy with it.
I also realized right away that my God phone was in much better working order. This helped me understand Hel’s point of view on the matter – that sometimes, you have to choose the riskier path to make life worth living. frequently, I make choices that rock my boat the least.
So even though I had no idea what would happen, I got my shit together and made it to MA in one piece, more or less.
While I was there, I was keenly aware of not feeling well, but had much bigger shit to think about. My wonderful boyfriend and devoted girl did everything within their power to help me get through it.
We knew there was a price to be paid as soon as we set sail for home. My symptoms went haywire. BY Monday, I was puking up my meds again. So after some discussion with some of my doctors – who, by the way, were pretty damn pissed I didn’t get admitted the first time – I limped back to John Hopkins ER.
after a grueling 6 hour wait, I was brought back and immediately shit got real. They’re sure I have a kidney infection but it’s obviously worse than first thought. now they’re doing additional tests, because some of my symptoms aren’t quite what they expected, and now they’re hunting to see if I haven’t developed an abscess on or around my kidney. yeah, that’s what I said.
So here I am, alone in JH ER waiting for a bed to open up so I can be admitted. The plan is, at the least, high test IV antibiotics (since I can’t keep my meds down) and aggressive abscess hunting. The hard part is that I’m alone. Rave spent all available time off to go to MA,and then stayed awake all night with me here. I’m waiting for a friend to come help me – I get confused and distracted in hospitals.
I do. Not. Regret my choice to go. I just, as Winter put it, can’t catch a fucking break.