I am, as my friend Stephanie would say, hopped up on the goofballs. That is, I am on high amounts of dilaudid through a PCA pump.
Yes, this means I made it through the surgery. However, there was a scary moment, just like I predicted, where I needed to go on a respirator. My uvula has been so swollen since the surgery that I keep thinking it’s a loogey I should spit up. (I know you were dying to know that.) I also awoke with deep and abiding memories of having spoken to Hel, the Norse Goddess of the Underworldd (as I expected to) as well as my friend Jon, who died earlier this year (which I did not expect to). I was lucky that Rave was able to write down my babbling so I have more than my swiss cheese memory to rely on. It was very intense and maybe once I’m on less goofballs and in less pain I might relate some of it to you.
I have lost a significant portion of my pannus – it’s kinda freaky – 30 or so pounds gone. My belly no longer hangs over my thighs at all, and instead I kinda look like a dude with a beer gut. It turns out that the larger abscess, the one they’ve been draining all this time, was so big it went all the way back to the abdominal wall; so they had to cut that deep in order to remove that, along with tons of infected and dead tissue.
I’m in a lot of pain – like, probably the worst pain I’ve ever had, postoperatively. I was in ICU for about 12 hours, and one of my memories was them asking me to roll on my side and me actively trying to find the words, at full volume, to let them know that not only did it hurt, but that I no longer consented. You know, a safeword of some sort. But now I’m able to get up and shuffle around with the assistance of a walker and one or two other people to wrangle all the tubes and wires attached to me. I have a “vacu-bandage” of some sort, that is both sucking all the fluid out of my wound, but is also holding my new improved belly in place so it heals without drooping.
That’s all for now. I just wanted to let you all know in blogland that I survived, I had a very intense Underworld experience, and I am on the path towards healing.